“Why are you so obsessed with me doing math?” my oldest daughter belted out in a huff with all of the dramatic tween nuances she could muster, as though she were Regina George from the movie Mean Girls.  Couple that with the email I received from the school district letting me know that it was time to register for kindergarten (for my nonexistent five year old, thanks for the reminder on that), and it was really a win/win morning for everyone around here.  Dad should be thankful he had already left for work.

I’m a momster, at least that’s what I’m calling myself today since I had the audacity to tell my tween that she has to do things like:

1. Speak to me in a respectful manner.
2. Follow my directions.
and (cue gasp)
3.Clean her own room.

Oh yeah, and things like doing homework and not spending too much time on electronics.  What a crazy world I make her live in!

Ugh.

Momsters Unite!  It was a rally cry from a friend after posting about my morning on Facebook.  Some other momsters relayed their horrific doings to me on the site.  One friend actually made her seven year old son…are you ready for this?  Take a shower!  Now, I ask you, why has no one called CPS on this woman?  Another’s three year old dubbed her the ‘meanest mom ever’ (is there a trophy for that?) for taking his toy away after chucking it at her from the top of the stairs, and her five year old told her it was the worst day of his life when she stopped him from sliding down the iron banister of said stairs while wearing his rain boots and a life jacket.  She did however, acknowledged she was evil for this.  I’m glad she could see that, because truly, her behavior was obviously atrocious.

How dare these woman, how dare they!  Who do they think they are?  What gave them the authority to act like a, a…MOM.  Oh, wait…

Kids are jerks.  Egocentric little jerks who can’t see past the tips of their own noses.  Everything is unfair when you’re a kid.  You’re short, you have to go to bed early, you have to go to school, you can’t eat candy whenever you want, you’re forced into the modern day form of slave labor known as chores, and you don’t get to choose what show the family watches on TV (and for some reason, unknown to you, your parents never choose the Disney Chanel).

Back to my morning.  One dead, and one thinks I’m soooo utterly stupid and mean. I stood there feeling like the world’s biggest failure as a mother in the drizzling rain, watching my daughter’s bus pull away as her tears streamed down her face…because of me.   Yep, I’m really relishing in the joys of motherhood these days.  I don’t wish on her having to go through this one day as a form of punishment for her childhood self, but, as trite as it would sound to her today, I do wish that when she inevitable does deal with circumstances like this as a mother, that in those moments she really begins to understand first hand that a mother’s love even entails rules and consequences for her children.

Deep breath.  I’ll try again at 3:40 this afternoon.

On a serious note, I will be forever grateful that my intelligent and precocious child has the gumption to speak up and speak her mind.  I think that will forever be a valuable personality trait and one of her biggest assets.  One that I never want to squash.  I like to encourage her to do so, although sometimes I think that’s where I’ve gone wrong myself.  I have always wanted to make sure that she is respected as a human being with her own mind, and as such, have always allowed her to have a ‘say’ in things…maybe a little too much.  Could I so have overdone it in trying to let her have her voice and opinions that she now thinks her vote counts for one third (along with her father and I) in this house, or is it just the snarling tween hormones that are always smoldering beneath the surface that flare up in times like these?  All in all, I give praise to my daughter for having such ‘normal’ problems in life at the age of almost ten, considering the death of her sister and all that her short life has entailed.  So at any rate, good for her for being so strong willed and bold (she does come by it honestly), but seriously kid, know when it would behoove you to pipe down and say just “yes mom” instead!

If you did, you might still have access to your video games this week…